How Becoming a Mom Made me a Better Lawyer

  • 27 novembre 2024
  • Debbie Boswell

Introduction

The statistics on the impact of having children on a woman’s career are grim. According to a recent report from the American Bar Association, mothers in the legal profession are far more likely to report experiencing demeaning comments about being a working parent, limited access to business development opportunities, and denial of salary increases or bonuses.[1] Research consistently shows that employed mothers across all professions incur a “motherhood penalty” with respect to career opportunities, compensation, and advancement.[2] One study found that women suffer a 5% reduction in wages for every child they have. There is also research to suggest that the “motherhood penalty” may be more common in demanding professions like law that require long hours and high expectations of availability.[3]

Against this discouraging background, I’ve been reflecting on my own experience as a new mother within the legal profession. I have two kids under the age of 3 and much of my time over the past few years has been spent on parental leave. In my view, there are several ways in which the time I’ve spent on parental leave has actually made me a better (and more well-rounded) lawyer.

I believe the primary purpose of parental leaves is to spend time with your family. Time spent reflecting on your career or volunteering within the legal profession is a bonus. There were many days on parental leave when my only goals were eating three meals and having a shower. It was only towards the end of my parental leaves that I gained enough confidence and free time to be able to do some of the things I talk about in this article. My hope in writing this article is that other young parents (particularly mothers) can similarly reflect on the career benefits they’ve gained while on leave and make a case for a bonus, salary increase, or promotion at work. If any law firm leaders happen to read this article and change their views about young lawyers who take parental leave, all the better.

Time to Reflect

While on parental leave,I had time to reflect. Whether rocking a baby to sleep or going on walks, I had moments where my mind could wander freely. One of the things I spent a lot of time thinking about was the type of practice I want to have  I have always been drawn to appellate work. I did some before my parental leave, but when I came back to work, I had a plan in place for how I was going to get more appellate work.

In our day-to-day practice, we so rarely get the time to reflect on our careers. Having time away from the demands of daily practice gave me the opportunity to reflect and develop strategies for ensuring my career is headed in the right direction.

Pro Bono & Volunteering  

Towards the end of my parental leaves, I started to miss some of the intellectual challenges associated with the practice of law. I wanted to be able to do legal work, but with more flexibility than I might have on a typical client file.

During my first parental leave, I became involved with Pro Bono Ontario’s Supreme Court of Canada leave to appeal assistance program. The program prepares opinion letters for self-represented litigants about the likelihood of obtaining leave to appeal to the Supreme Court. It gave me an opportunity to do some appeals work with very flexible deadlines. I reviewed the lower court decisions, any additional client materials, and then drafted opinion letters – all while rocking a sleeping baby.

I also volunteered with the Ontario Justice Education Network. I spoke with high school students about a particular area of law and my experience practicing as a lawyer. On my second parental leave, I represented a constitutional rights organization as an intervener before the Supreme Court.

These opportunities helped me continue to hone my legal skills, but they also gave me something interesting to do that I may not have made time for in my busy practice.

Soft Skills

By far the biggest benefit from my parental leaves was the soft skills that I developed. I’ve highlighted three of what I view as the most significant ones below.   

1.Dedication

One of the principles of zealous advocacy is commitment to the client’s cause. Our Rules of Professional Conduct require us to “raise fearlessly every issue, advance every argument and ask every question, however distasteful, that the lawyer thinks will help the client's case and to endeavour to obtain for the client the benefit of every remedy and defence authorized by law." That is dedication.

You know what else requires dedication? Being a parent. I’m sure every parent knows the feeling of hearing your baby cry at 2 a.m. for what feels like the hundredth time that night. You are exhausted and the only thing in the world you want is to go back to sleep. But you know what? Parents get out of bed, go to that baby, and feed them or rock them or change their diaper. That is also dedication.

2. Multi-tasking

While multi-tasking is not always the best approach (particularly when a task requires sustained focus), sometimes in a legal career you have to multi-task. And no one multi-tasks better than a parent.

On the flip side, because I spend so much time multi-tasking during the day, I understand how valuable it is to have time where I can focus on only one thing at a time. This has made me much better at tuning out distractions and focusing on what needs to get done and doing it.

3. Creative persuasion

Being a lawyer is all about persuading people. There’s also a large element of creativity in law. Cases are won with unique, novel, or creative arguments.

Parenting also requires persuasion. Of course, some of our typical strategies of legal persuasion won’t work in the parenting context. My toddler would not be persuaded by a well-written and thoroughly researched factum. More likely, it would be used for doodling.

Persuasive skills may look a little different in the parenting context, but they’re just as important. For example, we had a bath time problem at our house. No matter how long our son was in the bath, he never wanted to get out. Starting about 5 minutes before I wanted him to get out, I would ask whether he wanted to get out or if he wanted more time in the bath. He would inevitably ask for more time. I’d repeat this another two or three times before finally announcing that he needed to get out of the bath and would he like to drain the water or should I? By that point, he would (usually) happily oblige and get out of the bath.  It may not be a legal argument, but it certainly was a creative way to convince someone to do what I wanted them to do.

Conclusion

Being a parent has challenged me to be the best version of myself. It is the most difficult – but rewarding – job I have ever had. I’m fortunate to practice in a firm that is very supportive of working parents and recognizes our dedication to the practice of law. I hope this article gives some food for thought to other parents who can similarly reflect on the skills and experiences they’ve gained from becoming parents.

 

[1] Stephanie A. Scharf, Roberta D. Liebenberg, and Paulette Brown, Legal Careers of Parents and Child Caregivers: Results and Best Practices from a National Study Of The Legal Profession (2023), online: American Bar Association <https://www.americanbar.org/content/dam/aba/administrative/women/2023/parenthood-report-2023.pdf>, at p. 6.

[2] Ibid., at p. 3.

[3] Ibid., at p. 3.

Any article or other information or content expressed or made available in this Section is that of the respective author(s) and not of the OBA.