One of the funny things about being a gay lawyer is conversations about “coming out”. I think a lot of people use the term “coming out” to refer to the big moments – family, friends – the kind of things that were the subject of a two-part “extra special episode” back in the 90s. But after the credits roll on those big moments, life has hundreds of small moments where someone needs to decide whether they come out or not.
For people who are not part of the 2SLGBT+ community, it can sometimes come as a surprise that Queer people are making these decisions so frequently. I think this is best summed up by a conversation I saw online a few years ago, where someone asked – in a job hunting group for lawyers and law students – for advice on when to come out. I wasn’t surprised to see that most of the answers were rather incredulous at the idea that being LGBT+ would ever come up in a professional setting, let alone while networking or looking for jobs.
The truth is, a lot of pretty mundane situations can raise the question of whether to come out. Maybe you’re networking and have been asked why you want to practice in a certain region, or maybe you’re at an office party and inviting a plus one. It could be something as simple as putting a picture of your partner on your desk. If you’ve ever said something involving the phrase “my partner”, congratulations, you’ve come out in that setting.