Good evening to all of you, my dear colleagues, friends, and relatives.
First off, I offer my congratulations and best wishes to Calvin, Marni, and Suzana for the well-deserved awards that each of them has received this evening.
I have given many speeches and delivered many lectures over the years and, yet, I found the preparation of my remarks for this evening to be the most challenging and nerve-wracking of all of them.
How does one adequately thank and show my tremendous appreciation and gratitude to so many of you who are here this evening?
How does one meaningfully reflect back on 38 years of practising law in the field of wills and estates, and over 30 years of teaching at my alma mater, Osgoode Hall Law School?
How does one pass along a few lessons learned over all of these years in a manner that will hopefully be of even marginal benefit to those of you here this evening younger than I, particularly when that group seems to be growing larger year by year?
How do I properly convey some of these thoughts in a way that my new partners do not regret the decision they made to have me join their firm?
And, how does one do all of this in a reasonably short period of time without putting all of you to sleep?
Well, here goes nothing!
I am so extremely overwhelmed, humbled, immensely grateful, and emotional to be the recipient of this year’s OBA Award of Excellence in Trusts & Estates Law. I share this award with so many of you, without whom I would not be so privileged.
To the award committee, the Executive of the Trusts & Estates section, and to the staff of the OBA, I thank you for having bestowed this honour on me and for organizing this beautiful dinner here this evening.
To those of you who generously agreed to be sponsors for tonight’s dinner, I am truly appreciative.
The letters of support that so many of you sent to the committee leave me speechless. At one point, I thought that you were all writing eulogies!
Speaking of which: Do you remember when you were in high school and they had you take a vocational test to see where your future career interests may lie? Well, No. 1 on my list was a mortician, with lawyer coming in as No. 2!! So, I suppose it’s no great surprise that I ended up practising law in the area of wills and estates!!
I will never be able to adequately express my tremendous debt of gratitude to my dear friend and colleague, Sheila Morris, who championed the cause of nominating me for the award. I joked with Sheila that, if there weren’t already 102 candidates vying to be mayor of the City of Toronto, I might have considered putting my hat in the ring on condition that Sheila would be my campaign manager! (Actually, there was never any worry about that, because those of you who know me well, will readily agree with me when I say that I wouldn’t last 5 minutes in the world of politics!) Sheila, thank you, thank you, thank you. You are an exceptionally skilled and astute lawyer, trusted colleague, and a wonderful friend! I will be forever grateful!
When I look back at my years in practice and teaching, so many people (many of whom are here this evening) come to mind with great affection:
- to Dean Mary Condon, Associate Dean Mya Rimon, all of the former deans and associate deans, and all of the staff at Osgoode Hall Law School….thank you.
- to the people at Emond Montgomery Publications, who have had the patience to tolerate my tardiness, and who most recently published the 4th edition of my text on Wills and Estates….thank you.
- to my longstanding and devoted legal assistant, Joanne Hickling, and to one of my former assistants, Marie Correia….thank you.
- to my colleagues and friends at Robins, Appleby where I spent the early years of my legal career and to more colleagues and friends at Minden Gross where I practised for just under 30 years….thank you.
- to my newest colleagues and friends at Miller Thomson who have warmly welcomed me, and to one of the greatest Private Client Services and Estate Litigation groups within the country….thank you.
- to the few thousand of students whom I have tried to teach a little bit about estates law over the years, a famous Rabbi once said: “Much have I learned from my rabbis, even more have I learned from my colleagues, but from my students I have learned more than from anyone else.” … Thank you.
- to the many of you, over the past 20-plus years, who have entrusted me with the responsibility and duty of being a fair and impartial mediator in helping you and your clients facilitate the resolution of highly-charged emotional disputes…thank you.
- And to those of you with whom I have had the great privilege of working together in our wonderful and enviable estates bar, whether on the same or opposite sides of the table…..thank you.
To all of you, I share this award.
Day-in and day-out, we are all regularly providing assistance to members of families….whether it be for their estate planning needs or estate disputes. We see both the good side of many families and, unfortunately, we also witness the terribly sad and distasteful side of relationships within families.
I am forever grateful and thankful for being part of a cohesive and supportive family unit and, if you bear with me for a few minutes, I wish to offer words of love, gratitude, and appreciation to members of my family who are here with me this evening.
I am extremely honoured to have my first cousin, recently retired Justice of the Supreme Court of Canada, Michael Moldaver, and his wife, Riky, here with us. Mike, thank you for your dedicated and significant contributions to our judicial system over many years, and for being such a supportive and helpful mentor to me at various points in my professional career. I wish you and Riky much good health and fulfillment in this next stage of your lives.
I am so proud to have two nephews here this evening, each of whom has developed well-earned reputations as accomplished and well-respected lawyers: my nephew, Jordan Black, with his wife, Nicole, and my other nephew (whom many of you know as a member of our estates bar), Mitchell Rattner.
Thank you to my brother, Michael, his wife, Donna, and to my sister, Marlene. My dear brother and sister have had to tolerate me as their (no doubt in their eyes) spoiled baby brother, but they have always been tremendously supportive and protective of me.
I recall, with love and respect, my dear late father, who passed away unexpectedly more than 20 years ago. After I started working downtown, my Dad and I would meet regularly for a quick lunch and share stories of the day’s events, talk about sports and other such things. I recall one day, relatively early on in my career, when I was a little disillusioned with the practice of law and suggested to him the possibility of me entering the family business. In his relatively quiet, yet determined manner, he encouraged me to “stick it out” in the legal profession as he thought that would be the preferred path for me. And he was right! Thanks, Dad!
There is someone here this evening who ought to be the recipient of one of the greatest possible awards, and that is my dear and beloved mother, Beverley. It goes without saying that I wouldn’t be here tonight if not for my mother! From early childhood days, when I would come home from public school for lunch, and would have to practise piano, with my Mom yelling to me from the kitchen to play that challenging “run” over and over again, to her always listening intently to all of my stories, to being the best possible confidante, to providing me with constant teaching, support, encouragement, guidance, and love, and for so, so much more….Mom, I am so extremely grateful that you are here this evening to witness one of your accomplishments. May G-d bless you with continued years of good health, vigour, strength of body and of mind, peace and contentment.
My wife, another Marlene, has stood by my side and has supported me for the past almost-20 years. She has been the victim of my cross-examining personality and often takes the brunt of some of my frustrations. At the same time, she has helped raise our two wonderful sons and, for all of that and more, I offer my love and appreciation.
Speaking of our two wonderful sons, no two other people have brought me so much personal fulfillment, pride and love as these two guys. I recall earlier days when the word “mediation” was a dreaded one within our household, because the two boys knew that it often meant that Dad would be late (and sometimes miss) dinner. Aaron and Adam, I can’t imagine my life without the two of you being an integral part of it. Thank you for making my life so meaningful, fun and exciting.
I could go on and on speaking about each of you loving members of my family. Thank you for everything!
Finally, I suppose I have reached the stage in my career at which time, in spite of my desired youthfulness, I have joined the category of one of our “older” members. With that in mind, I wish to leave you with a few personal reflections and, hopefully, some words of support and encouragement.
So, here goes:
1. We are members of a worthy and respected “profession”. What we do is more than just a “job”. We should always strive to conduct ourselves in a manner that is worthy of being called a “professional”. Section 2.1 of our Rules of Professional Conduct read as follows:
“2.1-1 A lawyer has a duty to carry on the practice of law and discharge all responsibilities to clients, tribunals, the public and other members of the profession honourably and with integrity.”
While the practice of law has increasingly become a “business” over the years, let us try to never forget the traits of honesty, ethical behaviour, and integrity in all that we do.
2. We are all members of what I regard as one of the most collegial, supportive, and (dare I say) enviable practice areas. There is no client who is worthy of us sacrificing or jeopardizing those invaluable relationships that we share with one another. Yes, advocate strongly and forcefully for your client’s legal rights, but remember this: that client will ultimately become a client of the past, but your colleagues will still be there when you take on that next file.
3. Be yourself. Allow your true, inner personality and character to shine through. You will never succeed in pretending to be someone else. Yes, there are politics and diplomacy in all aspects of life, but try not to allow competition, ego, or greed to overtake you. Remember that each one of us has our own individual and unique strengths and positive qualities. No one has the right to make you feel inferior or unworthy.
4. My parents instilled in me what has become my personal goal in life, and that is this: At the end of the day, I don’t aspire to be the brightest, most successful or most prominent lawyer. My goal is to hopefully be remembered as an honest, ethical, moral, and caring individual who, in some small way, made a contribution to our society at large in order to help make this world a better place in which we and future generations may continue to live in peace and harmony.
5. Finally, life has its fair share of challenges, both professionally and personally. You will all hopefully attain your goals and reach the heights but, unfortunately, there will also likely be hills to climb and challenges to face. Whenever you hit those low points, stick it out, persevere, hang in there, because I truly believe that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, even when you think you may have encountered one of your darkest days. As Theodor Herzl said: “If you will it, it is no dream.”
I’ll leave you with this quote that I recently received from a friend of mine:
“Life is like a camera. Just focus on what’s important: capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, just take another shot."
Thank you all so much for being a significant part of my life and for your tremendous support and friendship. I wish you all a healthy, relaxing and rejuvenating summer!
Any article or other information or content expressed or made available in this Section is that of the respective author(s) and not of the OBA.