With OBA President Kathryn Manning having recently launched a mandate to create opportunities, education and a framework to help lawyers continue to lead the way in engaging in respectful, constructive discourse, what better time to spotlight lawyer commitment to keeping it civil? We asked OBA members to share examples (big or small) of civility they’ve experienced in their careers that particularly impressed, inspired or stuck with them.

Offering Encouragement

“Relatively early in my career, I found myself on the Commercial List arguing against four or five much more experienced lawyers on a motion that was, admittedly, a longshot. One lawyer in particular was especially kind as I went down in flames, whispering genuine words of encouragement, which, in the moment, I very much appreciated. That night, this same lawyer left me a voicemail to compliment me on my submissions and the challenging argument that I tried to make out. I still reflect on those small acts of kindness.” - Michael Kealy, Moodie Mair Walker LLP

Showing Appreciation

“I was a litigator in my first five years of practice and I was particularly frightened in court in my early days as a lawyer. I once went to a hearing all robed and everything and then realized that it wasn't on the docket (as it was being dealt with in writing). Another lawyer was about to attend a hearing and had forgotten his tabs so I offered him mine, since I wouldn't be needing them after all. He graciously accepted and I left him my card so he could return them to my office later that day. I was surprised to find my tabs returned draped over a bottle of champagne later that day. I will always remember the fact that such a small gesture was rewarded so kindly.” - Kathryn Balter, Fogler, Rubinoff LLP

Complimenting Quality

“One came to mind right away: After a call between all counsel on a file with multiple defendants, once we hung up, counsel for another party (a very experienced lawyer) called me back to compliment me on the quality of the pleadings I had drafted.” - James McCarthy, Cunningham, Swan, Carty, Little & Bonham LLP

Sharing Documents

“An example is counsel sharing copies of motion documents when I have reached out to them requesting a copy.” - Robert Richler, Bernardi Human Resource Law LLP

Recognizing Effort

“One example of civility occurred when I was involved in a trial at the beginning of my articles. The senior lawyer leading the case consistently took the time to thank me for my contributions, no matter how small they were. One morning, after I had worked late to finalize something, he asked, 'Did you have to stay up late to finish this?' It was a simple question, but it stood out to me because it showed he cared about the effort I was putting in, even though everyone on the team was working long hours. His recognition made me feel valued and his actions set a standard of respect and collaboration within the firm, serving as a model for how effective leadership can build an inclusive and productive environment.” - Victoria Di Felice, Deeth Williams Wall LLP

Upholding Integrity

“Attending OBA’s Annual Charter Conference was one example of civility-in-action. One of the speakers remarked, when speaking about emergency powers, that in times of polarization, the law must serve everyone equally. As lawyers, even if we don’t personally agree with a cause, it’s our duty to uphold due process and protect judicial independence, ensuring the integrity of the legal system.” - Claudio Klaus, University of Toronto Faculty of Law (GPLL.M Student,), Studying Law Around the World Podcast

Learning from Others

Claudio Klaus offers his book recommendations for those looking for more insights on – and examples of – civility:

• Law Professor Steven Collis’ book 10 Habits of a Peacemaker has inspired me to practice civility in the field. One crucial lesson is the importance of intellectual humility – recognizing we don’t know everything about everything and staying open to learning from others. This mindset helps build trust and leads to better outcomes when talking to others and reacting to information. Another lesson he shares is ‘hunting for the best argument against you,’ which strengthens your case and ensures fairness by considering all perspectives.
• Law Professor Bryan A. Garner’s memoir Nino and Me shows how mutual respect can lead to deep, lasting friendships despite stark differences. Garner and Justice Scalia’s relationship highlights that civility goes beyond politeness – it’s about understanding one another. Their bond, built on listening, compromise, and empathy, teaches us the importance of supporting each other through both good and bad times. A memoir every lawyer and law student could use!